India was a hard month for me for a multitude of reasons. It was month 4 and we just had team changes and I wasn’t sure where I fit in yet - I was getting homesick for the first time on the race - it was December so we had to do Christmas and New Years away from our loved ones - I chipped my tooth and had to get a crown put on and it was a transition time for our contact and they weren’t always sure what to do with us, just to name a few reasons.
I was having a hard time but God used India to teach me about redemption. He redeemed music and in that most of my teenage years, He redeemed dance and gave me space to practice freely. He taught me that yes, my life has been redeemed already but now He wants to take it apart and redeem each piece of it.
That lead to Africa and God redeeming school and giving me thoughts of one day possibly going back and me preaching many times all over the place about how He redeems. We got to Rwanda, a country that has been redeemed in beautiful ways, ways that just give me hope for this world.
Though God taught me all about redemption in India, I wouldn’t give India the time of day, after we left my celebration for the week was that we weren’t in India anymore. Anything to me was better than India.
But tonight, one of my teammates asked us to reflect on all God has done thus far on the race and use that for fuel for the last few months. So I thought about redemption and where I started to really understand it, India. Because the truth is, India’s not all bad and though I made God promise at one point to never send me back there, God’s going to redeem India too. It may never be my favorite country but I no longer think it’ll always be my least favorite.
Our ministry this month is encouraging and praying with the believers in the surrounding villages. We work with the main church in Chhouk but spend most of our days 10 minutes to an hour away in small house churches.
This is not our first month of home visits and house churches but this month I feel like the Lord is blessing in amazing ways. Like He is really filling each of us with things to say and that we are impacting the people we meet.
Though the heat continually wears us down, we all have such a desire to be out at ministry. When one of my teammates is sick or tired and doesn’t get to come with us that day, we get to come home and share the wonders that God has done and gloat about the children we played with and widows we prayed for.
Some days I am amazing that I was chosen to come to rural Cambodia villages to share the word of God with people who are humble and servants and need to rely on the Lord for food and water and electricity, things I’ve always taken for granted and some how they are the ones serving me. This song was playing on my ipod this morning as we get in the back of our truck to head to the church.
There's too many things that I haven't done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven't seen
You can't waste the day wishing it'd slow down
You would've thought by now
I'd have learned something
I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again I lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
But send me the miles and I'll be happy to follow you Love
I do what I can wherever I end up
To keep giving my good love
And spreading it around
Cause I've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And I'm better for that
Sing how far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles Send me the miles and I'll be happy to
Follow you Love
Red letter day and I'm in a blue mood
Wishing that blue would just carry me away
I've been talking to God don't know
If it's helping or not
But surely something has got to got to got to give
Cause I can't keep waiting to live
But send me the miles and I'll be happy to yeah
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
How far do I have to go to get to you
Many the miles
Many the miles
Oh send me the miles and I'll be happy to
Follow you Love
There's too many things I haven't done yet
Too many sunsets I haven't seen
Each day we get in the back of our truck not sure how far we’re going or what the day has in store, but this month we are traveling many the miles to spread the word of God and no matter where we end up it is exactly where we are suppose to be.
People- We lived with a great family who really welcomed us in and took care of us. We got to work with a few local pastors and though many didn’t speak much English their hospitality spoke for itself. The locals loved when we joined in on their new years festival Song Kran and they laughed with us as we threw water in each other’s faces. They are a very kind and welcoming people.
Places- We lived in Phang Nga just north of Phuket. It was beautiful, Thailand is amazing, we refer to it as the promised land some days and not just because there is running water. It beautiful, the people are kind hearted. We saw waterfalls and beaches, countryside and sunsets you wouldn’t believe. Thailand is definitely a place I’d love to come back to and visit. Not to mention they have Starbucks J
Things- We did a lot this month, a lot of ministry and of fun! We painted a church and helped prepare a nursery school to open, we taught English and did house visits. We helped our ministry Eagle’s Rest by pouring into the local churches they support and working around their office, cleaning, painting and networking. For fun we went to Song Kran, rode elephants, went James Bond Island, saw waterfalls, swam in the ocean and visited Phuket for shopping and just to be tourists! We had a really great month all around.
I had good enough internet for the first time in three or four months to actually see my parents on Skype. I woke them up at three AM and we talked until my computer died. I got to tell them how much I love Thailand and what we are doing and how I am not sick at all any more and how well I really am.
Now I know I had been struggling the past few months and learning to persevere and find pure joy but in it all I was down, but I didn’t realize just how far until my mom said, “You look good, you’re smiling again.”
I’M SMILING AGAIN.
High insight’s 20/20, I know, but how did I not realize that I wasn’t smiling or laughing like I used to? How did I get to a place just generally being down and not see it? Maybe I didn’t see it because it was a slow decline, a slow justification of how I was doing and that I was fine.
My nondescript illness wasn’t really getting to me, was it? I wasn’t taking on troubles my team was having, was I? Day dreaming about home as often as I was, was fine, wasn’t it? Surviving instead of thriving is perfectly acceptable right now, isn’t it?
No, it’s not, living in any less than all God has for you, isn’t okay, it’s not fine or acceptable or ‘just for today’ – no. Because God’s got plans and you’ve got a choice. And that choice has a lot less to do with what you are doing and a lot more to do with how you are doing it. That’s right, your attitude or your baditude or your positive pants, I don’t really care what you call it but the longer you justify and give excuses and go down a slippery slope just a little at a time, is all time you are missing out. Because I think the reason God wants us to find pure joy in our persevere is to get the most out of life. To really tap into all that He has for us and when we aren’t sulking in our own self pity we can start to see that. We start to really live in the immeasurably more He has for us.
Every month, sometimes even daily on the race the definition of ministry changes. We go from preaching to playing soccer, from praying to immunizing babies, from hoeing fields to sending emails, from painting to playing cards, from climbing mountains to dancing in the choir, from evangelizing to duck-duck-goose, from teaching accounting to playing volleyball, from left to right, from up to down, the definition of ministry changes.
The last three months in Africa our main ministries have been preaching and evangelism with a little bit of teaching toddlers English. Of course we did other things as well but most of days consisted of talking with few tangible results. Now the things we accomplish though spreading the word are eternal and more important than anything we could ever do with our hands but some days we enjoy physically seeing the old become new, the impossible become possible.
So when in our first week in Thailand we got to paint an entire church and help a nursery school prepare to open, to really work with our hands – I am not going to lie, we got pretty excited. Our schedule is the most packed it’s been in months and some days we’re a little exhausted. And the foundation we are working for this month, their mission is to give impoverished Asia pastors rest. Being away from all the talking and doing some labor has helped see how everything is important. Being at a place of rest, doing physical labor, missing some of the talking has taught me something more about life.
Because life, life is balance, because ministry is all of the above and so much more, because our lives our ministry. I am not a missionary because I am on The World Race, I am a missionary because I am learning how live a life of ministry no matter what I am doing.
One of the things I miss most about Africa is the landscape, I don't think i would ever get sick of it. Don't get me wrong Thailand is beautiful but there is something about walking out of your house and seeing this, everyday.
People- The people here are beautiful. They are friendly without being aggressive, no adults tried to reach out and touch me and people rarely yelled out ‘Mzungu!’ to us on the street. The children do of course but there smiling faces and hugs are always so joyful. We had three babies in our house this month all just about one years-old, they were cute and fun to make smile, the crying at 7 am wasn’t always my favorite but the giggles are always appreciated.
Places- Ruti, Mbarara, Uganda is a small city with all the necessities not far away, popcorn and coke just up the road and 10 minutes into town there was Oreos and internet. We lived without running water or electricity this month which really wasn’t too bad, but I guess we’ve eased into it because are water and electricity have been pretty inconsistent for the past few months. The view is amazing, African landscape is one of the things I will miss the most.
Things- This month we worked with a church preaching and supporting the soccer team that one of my teammates played on. Many of the guys on the team can to church for the first time in our month here. We had time to rest and relax but we did get to see some hospitals and schools in our time here. I got to immunize babies, even one that had just been born. We got to sing and play and pray with special needs kids. We ended Africa well.
I recently finished the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, where Donald Miller talks about really living your life and what that means. So I thought about my story, about my life, and the truth is I’ve got a pretty cool story but somehow, I just don’t always feel that interesting. I’ve spent two of the last four years living outside of America, I will have traveled to at least 23 different countries, living in 12 of them by the end of this year. I’ve seen London, Paris, Rome, the Himalayas, rural villages in Africa, unrecognized countries in Eastern Europe and so much more.
Then, I think about my life after the race, what am I going to do next. And I am learning life is about the choices you make, not the cards you’ve been dealt. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been dealt a pretty good hand. I was raised in America by parents who love and support me, I have a college education. Statistics say that just having running water, shelter, clothes, food and some mode of transport (even public) puts me in the top 15 percent of the world’s wealth. But the truth is that not only do I have all of those things, I expect them. I’m pretty sure the fact that I can afford that college education puts me in the top one percent of the world’s wealth.
Even with all of this, I fear that I will make the wrong choice about what to do next. But I am learning that if I follow after the Lord and desire to serve Him and make decisions based on that, it’s going to work out. So many of us sit and wait for the clouds to part and a booming voice from heaven to tell us what to do next; we use that excuse that we aren’t ‘called’ to something or we are waiting on a ‘sign.’ But to that I say: stop waiting and start living.
And I find that I use the reasoning, ‘If I don’t do it now, when am I ever going to do it?’ I thought that was true of my life because I’m 23 and single, with nothing really to tie me down. But I no longer see it that way – it will always be true for me, no matter where I am in life.
I fear my life after the race will be average. But I am learning that it won’t be, because I refuse to let it be. I am not boring or mundane. I may not be someone that everyone knows, but those who do know me know that I am someone. People choose to settle – I will not. I will pursue the Lord and live a life worthy of His calling because no matter what I do, I’ll do it for Him. I will not wake up one day and wonder where my life has gone.
I will live out everyday and that starts with today. I am learning that I don’t need to be living in Uganda without every American luxury to have a story… my whole life will be my story, told by the Author and Perfector of our faith.
I asked Jesus a few months ago to make me mature and complete. And if you know the word you know that to be mature and complete you must persevere through trails with pure joy.
'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.' James 1:2-4
On the bus, on our way to Mbarara, Uganda I wasn’t feeling particularly joyful in my perseverance and this song come on my ipod.
More Time.
I promised you the world again
Everything within my hands
All the riches one could dream
They will come from me
I hoped that you could understand
That this is not what I had planned
Please don’t worry now
It will turn around
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we’ll be fine
So say what’s on your mind
Cause I can’t figure out just what’s inside
I hoped that you could understand
That this is not what I had planned
Please don’t worry now
It will turn around
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we’ll be fine
So say what’s on your mind
Cause I can’t figure out just what’s inside
So say alright
Cause I know we can make it if we try
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we’ll be fine
We’re off to new lands
So hold on to my hands
It’s gonna be alright
It’s a whole lot brighter
So stand by the fire
It’s gonna be alright
Yeah, the road gets harder
But it’s not much farther
It’s gonna be alright
You know that it ain’t easy
Please believe me
It’s gonna be alright
Please don’t worry now
It will turn around
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we’ll be fine
So say what’s on your mind
Cause I can’t figure out just what’s inside
So say alright
Cause I know we can make it if we try
Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we’ll be fine
If I want to be mature and complete it’s going to take perseverance, we are 200 days into the race and in the next 126 days I am going to find pure joy. I’m getting there, I’m learning. But I just need a little more time.
